I'm a very, very, VERY complicated person. I like to keep to myself, I'm very shy, but I'm not. I don't what it is about myself but I always seem to be neutral when it comes to everything, friendships, relationships, school, everything. I love the people in my life right now but I feel like I have no sort of sense of direction and it sucks.
I am an open-minded person but I always shy away, I hide my feelings, I hide under a rock and never creep up.
With that being said, you should understand why I am so selective about the people I let enter my life. The people I create friendships with are people whom I truly believe care for me and will always be there, call it needy but that's just my outlook on it.
Just like my life, this blog entry has no direction.. I wasn't even trying to write about this, it just came about on it's own haha.
ANYWAYS, emo side put away..
The past few days have been crazy i'll just throw out a bunch of words:
U-HAUL VAN CARNE ASADA FRIES ALCOHOL TELLY FREE OMELETES ANTIOCH A&W CHEESE CURDS ROOT BEER FLOAT HELLA VIDEOS PICTURES JAM SESSIONS JOE FROM CHINA
YEAH.
I'm fucking random as hell.
Sooo, let's talk about some serious shit.
Last night, I got dropped off at Kris' house while Tom and Jeff were working out. Kyle calls up Kris and says let's drink, you know us.. we can't turn down alcohol! So Kyle comes to Kris' house with Kelli, Priya and Josten then Tom and Jeff swing by.. We all roll up to Safeway down on mission to cop the liquor, captain morgan and some beer. Come back to Kris' house, start to drink, talk, the usual. I get drunk super fast cause I party-fouled and took two shots in a row.
And yeah, some shit happened where I was totally out of line and disrespected my bestfriend to the fullest extent no joke. Yes, I was fucking drunk but I have no excuse for my actions because I was well aware of what I was doing (Don't ask what it was cause I am definitely not getting into that via Blog!) Next thing you know, he tells me to leave his fucking house and I did, I walked outside to his driveway and hella start crying and Josten came up to me and was saying that we'll make up and the whole time I was just like "NO! you don't know Kris like I do, our friendship is over! I just want my bestfriend back!" Yeah.. and then eventually Kris came out and talked to me and I couldn't say anything, I know what I did was outrageous on so many different levels and I still don't know why I did it all I know is that I'll never do that again and I would never, ever, ever disrespect my bestfriend like that EVER again. Kris finally saw me cry, we cried together and made-up but shit was just so intense for me because that's my fucking bestfriend, he's my P.I.C. for a fucking lifetime, no joke. No matter what kinda shit we might go through, I know we'll pull through cause our fucking friendship isn't ordinary, we're way too close to let something pull us apart. Damn, I sound hella gay right now but I truly love my bestfriend. I can apologize a million times but that will not justify anything. All I can do is promise to him that I won't ever pull that kinda shit again and that no matter what, I'm here for him, backing him up 110% with whatever he does and I know he'll do the same, I'll never have to question that a day in my life.
Kris, I know you say that "nothing happened" but deep down, I know my actions last night will always be floating around in the back of your head and you can hella use that shit against me haha but yeah, I am sorry, you know that. Never Again.
Plus, we can never ever end our friendship.. I'll miss you way too much always saying "Eeej Blood!"
& we're gonna be future roomies in so-cal, right? rooms next to eachother, with a window in the wall so we can talk to eachother. 3 years, blood!
I am so grateful that we were able to become such good friends, BESTfriends.
my number fagtron for life.
LOVE YOU BUD!
=)
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